Shrekposting After Another 8 Hour Shift
Shrekposting After Another 8 Hour Shift
Blog Article
Man, this schlep really wastes. I'm so dead I could just lay down. All I wanna do is slurp some coffee and stare at the ceiling for hours. But first, gotta pink upload a few Shrek memes to celebrate the struggle. Life is a real circus, man.
This corporate ladder you see? It's just a staircase leading to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about hunger, about ascending to the top and controlling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of success, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
Get ready for long shifts, brainstorming sessions that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing colleagues. Your aspirations? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your power attire will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of wellies
If ever you think about climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just trapped by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Title: "Important Meeting" - My Soul: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a fictional onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I crave coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Maybe I should busy with something else.
- Should I even bother checking the calendar for next week?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Ogre Strength
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It wouldn't take some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting work.
- Perhaps it's time to a legion of trolls?
- This spreadsheet needs an atomic bomb
- I'm about to require a nap
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of relaxation this weekend is just absurd. My desk is currently a mountain of reports, each one demanding my undivided care. Honestly, I'm more excited about conquering this tower of tasks than I am about binging some Netflix. Maybe a weekend binge of caffeine and printing is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm stuck in this soul-crushing machine. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another cog in the stable. I'm exhausted from carrying this weight day after day. I dream about finding a better life.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll learn a new skill and finally discover myself.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not sustainable.